Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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