Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you didnt know i had herpes?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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