Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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