awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Actions speak louder than pants.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
