She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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