you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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