I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
