Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
