At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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