Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
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People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
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I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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