I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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