I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize