Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
