Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame

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  (978): my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame http://tfl.nu/nyuc
  Replies (11) Good night (906) Bad night (3177)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...

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  (956): around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people... http://tfl.nu/4vgn
  Replies (6) Good night (3093) Bad night (1079)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.

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  (501): All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware. http://tfl.nu/9chk
  Replies (5) Good night (4455) Bad night (790)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"

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  (678): You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs" http://tfl.nu/8pn3
  Replies (14) Good night (6583) Bad night (1420)
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  (716): View more from New York

  So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.

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  (716): So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building. http://tfl.nu/resy
  Replies (7) Good night (3715) Bad night (1469)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?

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  (352): Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house? http://tfl.nu/bc2r
  Replies (14) Good night (9608) Bad night (2369)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them

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  (218): I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them http://tfl.nu/0wmz
  Replies (4) Good night (2248) Bad night (891)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.

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  (785): for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless. http://tfl.nu/zt1g
  Replies (12) Good night (3260) Bad night (941)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now

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  (314): she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now http://tfl.nu/v305
  Replies (5) Good night (1995) Bad night (603)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?

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  (306): Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out? http://tfl.nu/y1by
  Replies (5) Good night (2473) Bad night (587)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen

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  (647): You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen http://tfl.nu/up6u
  Replies (3) Good night (933) Bad night (1430)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!

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  (215): THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT! http://tfl.nu/gopq
  Replies (27) Good night (556) Bad night (1441)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.

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  (941): We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go. http://tfl.nu/o8qv
  Replies (2) Good night (907) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.

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  (920): Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders. http://tfl.nu/bd26
  Replies (3) Good night (257) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.

  (1-631): View more from New York

  That's 30 minutes too many.

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  (631): Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there. (1-631): That's 30 minutes too many. http://tfl.nu/4o2n
  Replies (2) Good night (686) Bad night (398)

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