left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?