Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My liver is preforming stress tests.