I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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