Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive. http://tfl.nu/ya8a
  Replies (13) Good night (813) Bad night (3428)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college. http://tfl.nu/m4jf
  Replies (52) Good night (4464) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom. http://tfl.nu/gaio
  Replies (32) Good night (3324) Bad night (5878)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it. http://tfl.nu/0g8l
  Replies (45) Good night (1080) Bad night (9763)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  My vagina just recognized that song.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): My vagina just recognized that song. http://tfl.nu/3ui0
  Replies (7) Good night (3196) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke. http://tfl.nu/z4fd
  Replies (19) Good night (6680) Bad night (1667)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something. http://tfl.nu/acd6
  Replies (4) Good night (1530) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar

  (1-336): View more from North Carolina

  Blow your rape whistle

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar (1-336): Blow your rape whistle http://tfl.nu/5qj3
  Replies (22) Good night (3049) Bad night (1126)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well. http://tfl.nu/jxf6
  Replies (14) Good night (2045) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!" http://tfl.nu/mldx
  Replies (5) Good night (2446) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry http://tfl.nu/4kpv
  Replies (5) Good night (1437) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly. http://tfl.nu/59ai
  Replies (7) Good night (627) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (308): got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie http://tfl.nu/pesa
  Replies (3) Good night (1384) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum. http://tfl.nu/d0dn
  Replies (1) Good night (478) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough." http://tfl.nu/8x3m
  Replies (3) Good night (483) Bad night (238)

Randomize