we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Can I color on your dick again?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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