I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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