i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
