from now on my penis is your penis
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he puts the penis in happiness.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
