oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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