dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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