Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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