We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
