I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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