I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize