I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
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You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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