that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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