Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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