In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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