i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
