i wish starbucks made bloody marys
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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