i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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