I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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