Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
