dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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