how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
