Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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