So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
