What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
