Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
