Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
