im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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