Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Randomize
