I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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