operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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