I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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