Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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