I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
