so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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