im drinking this country out of the recession.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
