the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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