break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
