This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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