I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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