Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
