Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.

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(903): View more from Texas

He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation

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(503): View more from Oregon

There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order

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(803): View more from South Carolina

My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad

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(810): View more from Michigan

I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.

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(217): View more from Illinois

i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.

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(317): View more from Indiana

She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave

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(919): View more from North Carolina

You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.

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