So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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