Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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