Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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