i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i out mim tonsoeep
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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