Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Randomize