We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
