After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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